Crystal Rodenbaugh, LCSW
Founder and Licensed clinical social worker at Tenfold Counseling. Completed Level 1 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. Certified Gottman Seven Principles Leader.
Loving someone well is a skill. Spend a Saturday learning it.
The good parts of couples therapy, in one day. A couples retreat in Kansas City built on The Love Prescription by Drs. John and Julie Gottman and led by two expert clinicians. You'll ask each other the big questions, say the thank-yous you've been meaning to say, and leave with a date night on the calendar.
What this is
Think of it as five sessions of couples therapy in a single day, with the part everyone dreads left out. We won't be working through a fight. Nobody is going to relitigate the dishwasher. The whole day is about the other half of a relationship, the half that makes it worth having: curiosity about each other, gratitude said out loud, asking for what you want, and time together planned on purpose.
Most people treat a good relationship like the weather, something that happens to you. It has a lot more in common with cooking; the more you practice the better you get. Staying curious about someone you've lived with for twelve years is a skill. Saying thank you in a way that lands is a skill. So is having fun on purpose, which sounds silly until you notice how rarely it happens on its own. The couples who are good at this learned it somewhere. This is a day to learn it with two people showing you how.
Who this is for
This is for you if you're married, engaged, or long past the point of calling it dating, and you'd like to feel closer than you do right now. Maybe things are good and you'd like to keep them that way. Maybe things have been rough for a while and you're tired of it. Maybe you keep meaning to have a real conversation and it keeps getting bumped by the kids, the dishwasher, and the phone. Maybe you read the book and never did the exercises.
Who it isn't for
This isn't the right room if there's abuse in your relationship, if there's untreated addiction, or if you're in a crisis. Those situations deserve more than one Saturday can give. Email crystal@tenfoldcounseling.com and we'll point you toward couples therapy or the right local resource.
How the day works
We teach one skill and show you what it looks like. Then you and your partner do the exercise, just the two of you. Then everyone comes back together and talks about what came up, and you say as much or as little as you want.
- Welcome, and how the day works
- Make Contact
- Ask a Big Question
- Lunch on your own, with a few questions to take with you
- Group discussion
- Say Thank You
- Break
- Ask for What You Need
- What to do tomorrow, and putting your date night on the calendar
What you'll leave with
By 4pm you'll have:
- Asked each other questions you haven't asked in years, and heard the answers.
- Said thank you for specific things, out loud, to the person who did them.
- Asked for something you need, in a way your partner could hear.
- A date night on the calendar, with a day and a time.
- A short list of small things to start tonight.
- Spent a whole day on the two of you, which most couples can't remember the last time they did.
Who's running it
Josh Wexler
Coach and clinician at Tenfold Counseling, working toward full licensure under Crystal's supervision. Innovator in Residence and Professor of the Practice at the University of Kansas. Completed Level 1 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy.
Together they host What Your Therapist Wants You to Know. If you want to know what six hours with us sounds like, start with the episode on The Love Prescription.
Based on The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy by Drs. John and Julie Schwartz Gottman.
What it costs
$599 per couple.
For comparison, five sessions with a couples therapist runs somewhere around $1,000 and takes about two months to get through. This is one Saturday.
We cap it at fifteen couples because we want to get to every couple in the room. When it's full, it's full.
Change of plans? Full refund if you cancel more than seven days out.
That includes:
- Six hours with both of us in the room
- Every exercise, and the materials to take home
- Other couples to learn from, which turns out to be a bigger part of the day than most people expect
Reserve your couple's spot
Booking opens on our Cal.com event page in a new tab.
Where and when
Where: Hotel Indigo Kansas City Downtown, 101 W 11th St, Kansas City, MO 64105
When: Saturday, October 24, 10am to 4pm. Doors open at 9:45.
Parking: Street parking and hotel parking.
Lunch: On your own. There's an hour, and plenty of walkable restaurants.
What to bring: Yourselves. You don't need to have read the book, and you don't need to bring it. A notebook if you're that kind of person.
Questions people ask
Is this therapy?
No. This is an educational workshop, not therapy or a substitute for mental health treatment. Attending does not create a therapist-client relationship. Put plainly: we're going to teach you some things and have you try them. Nobody is being treated.
Will we have to share private things in front of everyone?
No. Every exercise is just you and your partner. The group conversation is voluntary and you share only what you want to. Everyone in the room commits to the same ground rules about confidentiality before we start.
Is this for couples in trouble, or couples doing well?
Both. Most of the room will be people who are doing fine and want more. Some will be people who've been tired and distant for a while. The only couples this can't help are the ones in the situations listed above.
My partner isn't sure about this.
That's the most common message we get. Send them this page and the schedule so they can see there are no surprises. Nobody gets called on. Nobody performs. There's a lunch break, a coffee break, and a hotel lobby to escape to. If they read all that and still say no, don't drag them. This works when both of you choose it.
Do we need to read the book first?
No. We cover what you need in the room. If you want a summary of the book, listen to our podcast on it here.
What if things are pretty bad between us right now?
If it's bad in a way that feels unsafe, or there's untreated addiction, this isn't the right room and we'll help you find the right one. If it's bad in the ordinary way, distant, snippy, tired, that's a lot of who this is for.
What if we're not married?
Doesn't matter. Married, engaged, or long-together all count.
What if we need to cancel?
Cancel more than seven days before the workshop and you get a full refund. Inside seven days we can't refund, because the seat is gone and we've planned the room around you. If we have to cancel, you get every dollar back.
Is lunch included?
No. You'll have an hour, and plenty of walkable restaurants.
Where do we park?
There is street parking and hotel parking.
Is childcare available?
No.
Final ask
Fifteen couples. One Saturday.
October 24, 10am to 4pm, downtown Kansas City. $599 per couple.
This workshop is educational and is not therapy, counseling, or a substitute for mental health treatment. Attending does not create a therapist-client relationship.
This workshop is independently created and is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or certified by The Gottman Institute or Drs. John and Julie Schwartz Gottman.